We're rather private people here at ZATZ and so we regard our Privacy Policy as private. However, since you managed to find it by digging around in our digital private parts where it has long been hiding in plain sight, we might as well tell you our rules regarding privacy and this policy.
Our Privacy Policy is private and is for the benefit of our readers, visitors, lurkers, and anyone else who manages to stumble upon it. You may not load this policy on services like Kazaa and stream it to a hundred of your best friends. You may not perform the words of this Privacy Policy whilst being accompanied by show tunes. And you may not submit this Privacy Policy as your entrance exam for why you think you'd make a perfect student at the Citadel.
ZATZ has a certain degree of respect for the privacy of the individuals that use ZATZ publications and services. That said, individually identifiable information about you (such as your name or email address) may be sold to a third party, swapped for pretty much any reason that sounds good to us, or even used to help pay off Bill Bennett's gambling debts. In practice (and much to our eternal disappointment), we have something of a corporate conscience and it's rather likely we'll only pass your information along to someone else who's likely to be of benefit to you.
Of course, if some folks come along and ask for your information and your information alone (yeah, it's all about you, isn't it?), we'd probably think they're rather strange and send them packing. Sadly, no one's ever asked us for information specifically about you, which probably means you really ought to get out more.
Cookies
Upon your visit to certain ZATZ pages, a "cookie" may be sent to your computer. A cookie is a piece of data that identifies you as a unique user. A cookie is also this wonderful baked item, often with chocolate in it. We like baked cookies far more than we like digital cookies, mostly because of the taste.
In some of our pages, we use cookies (sadly, not the yummy baked ones) to improve the flavor of our service and to understand our user base more. We do this by storing some user preferences in cookies. We will not disclose cookies to third parties except as required by a valid legal process such as a search warrant, subpoena, statute, or court order.
Most browsers are initially set up to accept cookies. You can reset your browser to refuse all cookies or to indicate when a cookie is being sent. Be aware, however, that some parts of the ZATZ network may not function properly for you if you refuse cookies. We also accept fresh-baked cookies. Please mail them to PO Box 110579, Palm Bay, FL 32911. Chocolate chip are our favorite. We also like brownies.
What information do we collect?
We don't collect any unique information about you (such as your shoe size, fashion preferences, or strange little hobbies) except when you specifically and knowingly provide such information. We do record and save information such as time of day, browser type, browser language, and IP address with each Web page query. We also save and record your email address (which makes it a whole lot easier to send you our email newsletters).
Information we collect is used to verify our records and to provide more relevant services to readers. We also may record when you've clicked on an ad, and who has clicked on what ads. That information may be provided to our advertisers, and if so, you will have the option to opt out. You may always opt out by clicking the link at the top or bottom of our email newsletters and promotions.
Links to other sites
The sites displayed as part of our editorial or news coverage are developed by people outside of ZATZ control. Sadly, sometimes our own employees are out of ZATZ control, but that's another story. Basically, if you click a link that takes you to another site, we take no responsibility for what happens.
With whom do we share information?
ZATZ may share information about you with advertisers, business partners, sponsors, and other third parties. However, we only divulge aggregate information about our users and will not share personally identifiable financial information with any third party unless you've given it to us. Just so you know, we use an outside credit-card processing firm, 2Checkout.com, for our online store, so we never actually get your credit card numbers. And we would never give away your credit card information anyway.
Further. we made sure that our credit card processor meets all BBBOnLine Reliability participation and Better Business Bureau membership standards and is authorized to display the BBBOnLine Reliability seal.
See? We really do care.
Please be aware, however, that we will release specific personal information about you if required to do so in order to comply with any valid legal process such as a search warrant, subpoena, statute, court order, or the scary men in black vans.
Your consent and changes to the Privacy Policy
By using the ZATZ services, reading our mailings, and visiting our web sites, you consent to the collection and use of your information as we have outlined in this policy. We may decide to change this Privacy Policy from time to time. When we do, we will post those changes on this page so that you are always aware of the information we collect, how we use it, and under what circumstances we disclose it. By now, you've probably figured out this policy wasn't written by a gaggle of lawyers. As a result, if any given part is found to be unenforceable, the rest of the policy will remain in force until such time as the urge strikes us to change it.
What if you don't like our policies, belief systems, values, politics, opinions, or hair styles?
Well, you won't be the first, that's for darned sure. Seriously, no one will twist your arm to get free tips, excellent articles, and well-considered reviews written by the top experts in the fields we cover.
It costs us quite a bit to manage our servers, maintain our bandwidth, produce spectacular content and send you email, all with the purpose of making your life better. If for some strange reason you don't want to get our helpful information, we sure as heck aren't going to try and force it down your throat.
If you don't want to participate in ZATZ services, don't sign up. If you're already signed up, every message we send out from our mailing list provides an unsubscribe link. Click it. If that doesn't work (and it should--and has for everyone else), send us a polite email and we'll remove you.
Who can you ask if you have additional questions?
Feel free to contact us any time and we'll answer any additional questions you may have. Our email address is info@ZATZ.com. Please be nice and be polite. Be aware that we often read our email before coffee and we're quite likely to torture you, make fun of you, and then make you cry if you're mean to us. On the other hand, we're often very, very nice to the old ladies at Dunkin' Donuts who make us coffee and bagels every morning. There's probably a lesson in that.
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